Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Songs to Rock Out on Your Birthday

One thing is true about growing old: It ain't for pussies. 

Today in particular, my right wrist hurts, my back hurts, I expect to hear from my left kneecap sometime today, and since I drank a bunch last night, roses are forecasted for my cheeks. 
But I still have a full head of hair, so everyone can kiss my @$$. 

Just for today, at least.

TOP TEN SONGS TO ROCK ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

10. "Happy Birthday" by The Sugarcubes
There is no acceptable reason to include this song on this list... except one.  A lot of times, Bjork sounds like
she is having a stroke.  And to me, that is funny and on my birthday I like to laugh.  But one time, on my birthday, when I was younger and more fascinated with illicit substances, I actually understood what she said.  So every year, I like to challenge myself and if I can understand what Bjork is saying, then I am not properly behaving for a man's birthday.  Now, off to see JoJo so I can listen to some Sugarcubes...

9. "Happy Birthday" by Altered Images
When I listen to this song, I think of all the regrets I've had in life.  One that springs immediately to mind is my failure to build a time machine.  First thing I would do with a time machine is go back to high school and get all of the answers right on my history tests.  Second thing I would do is go back and stop each member of this band from being born.

8. "It's my Party" by Leslie Gore
Enough said.

7. "16 Candles" by the Crests
I would have loved to have gone to high school in a John Hughes film.  Seriously.  All the chicks were good looking and easy and all of the dudes were pussies.  I would have been like a god in that high school.  I would have been like the guy who shows up with a lighter and amazes the cave men.  Think about it: the only guy in Saturday detention with half a cock was the principal.  The only person with a scintilla of a cock in Some Kind of Wonderful was the drummer girl.  And don't get me started on Home Alone.  But this is about the music and the song is kind of groovy, so happy birthday.