GUNS, GIRLS, and ZOLOFT - A 21st Century Love Song

Recent developments in our country has put the Second Amendment smack dab on the cover of magazines and newspapers all over again.  Rational people disagree on a myriad of issues surrounding the problems, or even which problems need addressing.  One thing I know for certain: I would never want the job of having to propose gun control in this country, nor would I want the job of having to address it to the people in this country.  That's a hard job and I'm glad they've put a smart fellow in there to do it.

 

What I hope doesn't happen is that gun control proposals are put in place and, after months or years of fighting and debating and screaming and protesting, new rules are enacted and everyone pats themselves on the back, wipes the dust from their hands and says "Good job," then goes out for a beer.  Because, if you ask me, guns are only half the equation. 

 

The real problem is that people are fucking crazy.  However, no one has proposed a way to legislate crazy.  And I'm not talking hobos getting sent from asylums once funding is cut, I'm talking people being born crazy, being allowed to live crazy, and staying crazy until they are sent to public institutions which are, lo and behold, packed to the gills with other crazy people.

 

And some of them, thanks to big Pharmaceutical companies, have been put on tons of drugs.

 

No, gun control is nowhere near the end-all be-all to this problem.  But it's a start and I don't envy our president's job right now, but I know the best man is in place to do it.  I myself, a loud proponent of population control or the apocalypse (whichever comes first), am probably the last person who's opinions should be noted.

 

But, since you asked...

 

THE TOP TEN SONGS FOR ARMED, CRAZY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO "GET" THE GIRL

Love Songs for the Pharmaceutical Generation

 

10. "Used to Love Her" by Guns And Roses

I know, I know, Axl Rose claims this song is about his dog, but his track record with girls speaks for itself.  An incident with a gun and his first wife damned the marriage and another early paramour referred to their relationship as "putting a nuclear warhead in your living room and hitting it with a hammer and just waiting."  As if that wasn't enough, he got his ass beat by Tommy Hilfiger.  To prove karma's existence, check him out now and tell me he hasn't gotten his.

9. "Shoot Her With the Good Handgun" by Jay Munly

Because no girl of mine will stand to be shot with the bad handgun.  Which reminds me: Want to know what "gun control" at my house is?  The missus said I can't have both a gun AND a bourbon