But these are songs.
We leave the deeds by the wayside.
We can revel in the glory of all that God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit
allegedly created, but it good cannot exist without evil, then should we not
compare with the works from the other side?
Is the devil not credited with creating rock and roll? Blues music?
If God gave us the gift of making love, do we thank Satan
for the blowjob?
Jesus turned water to wine, but I'm more impressed with who
turned water to bourbon.
Desserts are described interchangeably as
"heavenly" and sinful."
"Angel Food Cake" competes with "Devil's Food Cake"
on dessert menus. There are more plants
in the forest named for the dark prince than the fellers upstairs.
More actors jump at the chance to play Satan than do
God. Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and
Elizabeth Hurley, among others, have all rocked it out as the devil, while only
Morgan Freeman and George Burns really made any waves as the Creator. (Should be noted that in Oh God, You Devil, Burns gets to play both parts... just sayin')
So again, I am not taking any sides. To pontificate on religion in this day and
age is a good way to get your head cut off and I like mine right where it
is. My point, as always, is about the
music. And so in an effort to remain
"fair and balanced," I present:
THE TOP TEN SONGS
ABOUT SATAN
What kind of devil must Michael Hutchence possessed to go
from pictures in girls' Trapper Keepers to autoerotic asphyxiation? (AUTHOR'S NOTE: I still suspect Bob
Geldoff. Look into it.)
No, this is not a band led by the most annoying sportscaster
in history, but rather the stage name of former Th' Legendary Shack Shakers
guitarist and Hank III bassist, Jim Finkley.
Finkley has another distinction in what unfortunately gets termed
"alt-country:" he and his ex-wife founded the downtown Nashville
rockabilly hot-spot, Layla's. While Joe Buck Yourself is no longer
associated with the venue, there's still plenty of sinning to be found at the
Broadway hotspot.
Speak of the... well, you know. This is a two-fer, as Hank III's album
version features the intro from the Louvin Brothers cock-blocking song from the
album of the same name. After the first
stanza, Hank III takes over with fiddles possessed and guitar licks that lets
the devil reclaim country. Lord knows
it's time.
Some would argue the sin is actually to get caught in the lie, but we're here to present music, not cases,
so I digress. This song has been covered
by millions, including a truly awesome one from the Blackstone Valley Sinners
that is nowhere to be found on Satan's other invention: the Internet.
Music has long enjoyed sinful connotations. From blues singers forced by the community to
abandon their craft in favor of gospel or stigmatized rock and rollers like
AC/DC, Ozzy, and Alice Cooper. No one
points out Pentecostal services where clapping and stomping and waving snakes
in the air bring people to the tongues of another world. But again, that's not what I'm here to talk
about. Instead, a band like .357 String
Band bring us to the point of possession with demonic banjo, driving guitar and
hypnotic choruses. Open a jar of moonshine
(devil juice) and enjoy!
Easily one of the most talented performers in history, as
Eartha Kitt could easily slip from English to French to Spanish to Turkish
to... you get the picture. Her smooth,
silky vocals leaves one to imagine she'd long gone over to the dark side well
before crooning her desire to give up her good girl ways. Listen for all the pop-culture clues in her
songs, a trademark of hers that makes listening to her songs much more sexy
than a history lesson. And one other
thing: Catwoman.
Dude, if my resume was half as good as the one Bob Wills and
Co. shop around for the Dark Prince, I'd have fifty jobs by now. Listen to them lay down his greatest hits,
sing for the world what this fella can do...
I need better spokespeople.
Ernest Tubb and Slim Cessna's Auto Club both have awesome
versions of this song, but I could find neither of them online. So we'll kick it with Rusty Dean. This song preaches to the choir, as I'm sure
there are few left that don't see hypocrisy in Christianity. But if you're still on the fence, enjoy the
music!
Since we couldn't squeeze Slim in on #3, we'll enjoy him
here at #2, where he decries the inspiration to so many country songs. It's a fun alternative to the Jello
Biafra/Mojo Nixon argument that Jesus may be a better drinking partner, no matter how many
footprints are left in the sand.
It's often argued that the devil is a Northern agent and has
no place in Southern culture. While they
had Daniel Webster and the Devil and the Salem Witch Trials, our culture and
literature have been strangely devoid of the Dark Prince until the rise of
Evangelism and, coincidentally, George W. Bush (from Massachusetts). Our two big exceptions are Charlie Daniels
and Robert Johnson who, after toiling away with poor guitar skills, disappeared
only to return a blues master. In an
ingenious bit of marketing, he is believed to
this day to have sold his soul at a crossroads in exchange for guitar
skills. The mystery of Robert Johnson
inspired the Stones, Clapton, and a multitude of musicians and filmmakers that
believe Johnson is truly the father of great music, whether or not he
participated in such a dark bargain.
EXTRA INNINGS: Just as we gave an honorable mention to Kitty
Clark, you should also check out Buck Owens' "Satan's Got to Get Along
Without Me." It's what I listen to
every morning when I get dressed.
FORGET ANY? CAST DOWN
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