Top Ten Movies of People Eating People

                Tired of the same-old, same-old at the grocery store meat counter, I found myself racking my brain to find something new to eat for the summer.  Dinner guests were coming for the weekend and I really wanted to put a little dazzle on the table.  The cookbooks were worn and tired and I hadn't the heart or patience to thumb through the library of old issues of Bon Appétit.  And has anyone tried to find a decent recipe on the internet?  So instead, I picked out a handful of movies and awaited inspiration.

TOP TEN MOVIES OF PEOPLE EATING PEOPLE

10.  WRONG TURN (2003) directed by Rob Schmidt, written by Alan B. McElroy

This gritty guilty pleasure follows a group of young adults stranded in the woods who are trying to elude a trio of inbred, cannibalistic West Virginians.  This film pays little attention to the cannibalism factor, aside from a short scene of terror which involves the protagonists witnessing the bad guys processing two of their friends.  It would have rated higher, but the inbreeds pass out with little regard to the preservation of their quarry, thus leaving their kills to rot.  This is not sustainable cannibalism.

9.  DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978, 2004) directed by George Romero, Zack Snider, written by Romero

It would be entirely too easy to populate this entire list with zombie films, so it was decided to have one represent them all and it would be criminal not to include a Romero work.  Horrorphiles may bemoan a movie from the Master ranking so low on the list, but the eating habits of the zombie would make even the most dedicated foodie’s stomach ache.  The undead fall upon their prey with little regard for taste or preparation.  However the zombie, unlike most Americans, does not eschew the offal, often actually preferring intestines, organs, and less popular cuts.

8.  TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) dir. by Tobe Hooper, written by Hooper and Kim Henkel

So revolutionary when it first premiered in the US, but obviously influenced by the Italian's cannibal in film movement.  Massacre inspired a wave of imitators nearly 40 years after its production.  While Hooper paid homage to all the greats with his work -- such as Hitchcock’s Psycho among others -- he unintentionally fathered the coming wave of slasher films, with Leatherface giving rise to Jason, Freddy, and many others.  While the sequel in 1986 ratcheted up the cannibalism, it also amped up the camp where the original kept the horror in the forefront where it belongs.

7.  DOOMSDAY (2008) directed and written by Neil Marshall

Another great output from Neil Marshall turns the zombie movie no its head.  The undead serves as a backdrop in this story, but they are hardly the real threat.  Two warring factions in post-zombie apocalypse England compete for supremacy of the quarantined island and one, led by Sol (Craig Conway), realizes that to retain the loyalty of his followers, you gotta feed them.  Their style of cooking over open flame will appeal to many backyard chefs, but true barbecue purists will bemoan their use of high heat to cook their meat, rather than going "slow and low."

6.  THE ROAD (2009) dir. by John Hillcoat, written by Cormac McCarthy and Joe Penhall

There are many things to fear in this adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's stark and desolate novel: the ash in the air from the fallout of what caused the post-Apocalyptic landscape, the lack of food and water, bandits... but the immediate threat are the murderous bands of scavengers who travel the roads looking for survivors for their own sustenance.  In one scene, the two main characters stumble upon a farmhouse with a basement full of emaciated captives and realize they are being kept alive for food.  No mention is made of cooking techniques, but this method of storing leaves their prey rather lean and free of fat due to extended periods of starvation.  One can hardly imagine them hardly sufficient to do more than flavor stews and stocks.

5.  28 DAYS LATER (2002) dir. by Danny Boyle, written by Alex Garland

The debate over whether to include 28 Days Later in the zombie pantheon is endless, but the fiends in this film are commonly regarded as "infected" rather than "undead."  Regardless, their rage leads them to attack the non-infected and feast on their flesh and entrails just as their undead counterparts in Romero films may have done.  An interesting aspect is revealed when the infected loses their energy and stamina after the lack of food, due to the decimation of the living population.

4.  ALIVE (1993) dir. by Frank Marshall, written by Piers Paul Read and John Patrick Shanley

Not many films explore the psychology of cannibalism quite like Alive, probably due to the factual basis of the film.  When a plane carrying soccer players crashes in the Andes, the brutal reality of their situation forces them to consider eating the dead in order to survive.  Some refuse, some accept, but their decisions have consequences either way.  Due to the freezing climes and incredible foresight in the face of death, the survivors manage to preserve their meat by packing the carcasses with snow, thus insuring dinner for future nights.

3.  RAVENOUS (1999) directed by Antonia Bird, written by Ted Griffin

Steeped in historical fiction, this tense little thriller exposes not only a belief in the "Wendigo," a ravenous, cannibalistic creature that consumes the strengths and experiences of its victims when it feasts on its flesh, but also some clever cooking techniques as well.  However, along with these increased abilities, comes an insatiable addiction for the forbidden.  Next to Alive, Ravenous contains some of the most pro-cannibalism arguments made possible in film.  One is left to wonder exactly what wine would pair best with the spirit of a consumed victim, rather than just certain cuts.

2.  SOYLENT GREEN (1973) dir. by Richard Fleischer, written by Stanley Greenburg and Harry Harrison

One of the all-time classics in genre and featuring one of the greatest lead actors of the period, Soylent Green is part sci-fi adaptation and part police procedural.  Charlton Heston stars as Detective Thorn who serves as a cop on an overpopulated planet where the people depend on Soylent Green, a food product served by a government corporation.  Many connoisseurs who have tried to assemble a top-notch party mix salivate at the thought of adding the flavor-packed wafers of Soylent Green to some Marcona almonds, parmesan Goldfish crackers, pretzels and Chex mix for the perfect, anytime-anywhere snack.

1.  SILENCE OF THE LAMBS  (1991) dir. by Jonathan Demme, written by Ted Tally and Thomas Harris

This film has it all: one of the most compelling crime stories ever filmed, suspense and understated horror, one of the greatest screen villains of all time, and a wonderful suggestion for preparing and pairing wine with human offal.  Thomas Harris, the novelist and amateur gourmand, threatened to have his name removed from the project because he originally wrote the dish to be served with Amarone, reasoning that only a fool would pair liver with Chianti.  Cooler heads prevailed and we've been treated to seconds with sequels, prequels, and reboots featuring Hannibal Lecter and his penchant for gourmet cannibalism.

Rev. Eryk Pruitt runs a popular four-star restaurant in Durham, NC where he swears humans are served, but not served.  He is the writer and co-producer of a short horror film named "Foodie" that won Best Horror at film festivals in Charlotte, Tucson, and Mt. Hood, Oregon.  Find out more at http://www.foodie-themovie.com/   Purchase the DVD at http://www.foodie-themovie.com/buythedvd.html