Music for your Piehole - Detroit Rock City

Look, it ain't no secret: I got no love for New York City. One thing that really gets my goat is that anywhere you are in America, some transplanted New Yorker (or worse, someone who spent a weekend in New York and now regards themselves more cosmopolitan than need be) will go all up in arms anytime you try and perform one of the most basic American tasks, which is ordering a pizza.

One of my favorites: "Oh, your from Texas so you don't know what good pizza is."

Want to watch a throwdown? Get some asshole talking New York pizza, then throw someone from Chicago into the mix. You know, "The Windy City" did not get its moniker because of the Lake Michigan breeze, but rather because it's a metropolis chock full of braggarts.

Look man, I just like pizza. I like to put it into my mouth and chew it up and swallow it. Why everytime folks try to eat something it has to be turned into some foodie food blog is beyond me. It makes me wonder if there's something in the water up in New York City that turns everyone into a douchebag so they can ruin grinders or knishes or Reuben sandwiches for the rest of the country. But it's pizza goddammit so please, eat it and quit instagramming it.

But I got news for you. There's another kid on the block and he ain't so much about making noise. He's about being cooked and eaten and he knows New Yorkers and Chicagoans and food bloggers and just plain old douchenozzles will freak out at the mere mention of another type of pizza.

I'm talking about Detroit.

Detroit style pizza is some good stuff fella, and it's the revolution that's quietly taking over the country. Originally cooked in auto parts pans, the pizza is crispy and crunchy and a downright pleasure to put into your face. Best I can tell, it started at Buddy's Rendezvous in Hamtramck at 17125 Conant St. (it's still there today). Other pizzerias caught on, including Cloverleaf, Jet's and the Detroit Style Pizza Co. (to name a few).

But the reach is growing. Jet's has put a few shops around the country, including some over in Raleigh. Speaking of Raleigh, you can order Detroit style pizza off a truck at Klausie's Pizza. But the best is probably found in Louisville at a shop called Loui Loui's, where owner Mike Spurlock took and accountant-slash-mad scientist's approach by systematically studying the best Detroit style pizzas and creating his own award-winning recipe. Seriously, Loui Loui's is where it's at.

So there you have it. I could post pictures of my food, or go on and on about what it tastes like by overusing words such as chewy or cheesy or even use made up words like umami or nom nom but I won't because I am not a food blogger; I'm a for-real writer.

What I will do instead is give you some music that will rock your face off. Unless of course you are from New York City. In that case, I have nothing that will help you.

TOP TEN SONGS ABOUT DETROIT

10. "Detroit Rock City" by KISS

Let's just get it out of the way. It's the one you've all heard of and folks will flip their lid if it's not somewhere on this list. So here it is. But I'm sticking to my guns re: Eminem and Kid Rock. Now, let's all join the adults at the Big Table.

9. "Detroit City Blues" by Fats Domino

I double-dog dare you to talk about Detroit and not talk about race. Can't do it. Well, maybe you can, kicking it down in the urban sidewalk beaches of Dan Gilbert-ville, under the watchful eye of the video cameras, sipping on an iced latte or pina colada and saying "Ahh, now THIS is the real Detroit." But as living conditions became increasingly intolerable in the Jim Crow South, more African-Americans migrated northward to urban centers. Where most companies employed discrimination tactics, auto companies such as Ford recruited blacks to assist with labor demands, especially during the periods of World War. Songs such as this from Fats Domino sound as if they had been commissioned by the city to encourage folks to move.

8. "Detroit Special" by Big Bill Broonzy

There's a lot of songs about trains with Detroit in the name. It was a coin flip between this one and "Detroit