Sunday, January 12, 2014

THE END IS NEAR: Top Ten Movies about Pandemics, Epidemics, Plagues and the End of the World

Let's face it: We all have to die sometime, so why not at the same time?

Recently a small bout of H1N1 (swine flu) placed me under quarantine at my house and with plenty of time to study the subject in American cinema. I can't help but think we have it easy, perhaps too easy.

Gone are the days of Spanish Influenza (which ended the first World War) and Bubonic Plague (which changed the diet and trajectory of Western Civilization), when a simple sniffle could instantly blank a third of the planet's human population. What we are left with are watered-down illnesses that couldn't hold a candle to their predecessors... the viral equivalent of Kim Jong Un or Raul Castro.

As our planet bursts at the seams due to overpopulation, we must ask ourselves: Isn't it time for a new pandemic? As the burdens of technology and PROGRESS and civilization threaten to smother us, wouldn't a global reset button be nice? With all the blather and rhetoric about end times around the end/beginning of the millenium, shouldn't we be putting the skates on a new world order?

Don't worry, I'm not a virologist or epidemiologist or anyone who made better than a B in any of my science courses. I've not got a master plan to bring about the end of the world. But don't trick yourself into believing that I'm not ready. Whether it be through zombies, nuclear fallout, or a simple strain of some nasty flu, I'm prepared for the end and I repent daily.

So when you feel that tickle in your throat, draw the shades and get thee to a warm bowl of chicken soup. Hit up the Netflix and learn from your predecessors. There are lots of films out there celebrating sickness at the end of the world, and the good right Reverend has them for you right here.

TOP TEN MOVIES ABOUT PANDEMICS, EPIDEMICS, PLAGUES,
and the END OF THE WORLD
10. THE HAPPENING (2008) 
I can see a lot of people getting bent with this choice. Several folks got upset with Shyamalan's lack of explanation, not realizing that we don't care WHAT caused the event, just what happened. If these things were going on, bringing about the end of the world, I probably wouldn't be glued to CNN trying to figure out the science. No, I'd be running for my life. It's called a MacGuffin, y'all.  
The great George Romero never explained what caused the Zombie Holocaust. You know why? It wasn't important. And in the midst of it all, we'd never know either and the not knowing increases the terror. Man, this was a great flick.


9. QUARANTINE / [REC] (2008/2007)
[REC] came first in Spain, then the Americans remade it as Quarantine. Both versions are pretty tight, but if I had my druthers, the fella who made the marketing campaign for the American version would be shot up with SARS. For the trailer, THEY INCLUDED THE FINAL SHOT OF THE FILM. What the hell? Who does that? So throughout the movie, you are waiting for that shot of Jennifer Carpenter being dragged away